WANTING something different to say on Valentine’s Day instead of the overworked “roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you” type of message?
Here are some suggestions from wellknown cynics.
• David Letterman’s Valentine’s Day money-saver: Break up on February 13, get back together on the 15th.
• Husbands are like fires — they go out when they’re left unattended. Cher
• The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. Natalie Wood
• Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. Albert Einstein
• Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. Christopher Marlowe
• True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal
• Love is a grave mental disease.Plato
• Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternising with the enemy. Henry Kissinger
• A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. Helen Rowland
• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx.
• Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. Mickey Rooney
• I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner
• I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. Tracy Smith
• Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller